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Look Who’s Seven!

It’s your loyal TX Citizen, y’all! Our first issue hit the mean streets of New Braunfels on this day back in 2011, and we’ve been filling blank space with words ever since. We don’t know who to thank more; you, our faithful reader, or the fantastic local businesses that we’ve been selling your attention to all these years. It’s a toss-up. We love you both the same. XOs

 

Don’t Laugh at Me, Argentina

In a rare move, POTUS has decided to snub his BFF Vladimir Putin while attending the G20 down in the South America. The White House says it’s because Russia was mean to the Ukraine navy, but that can’t be it because:

 

  1. POTUS has kept his cool regarding the Russian invasion and seizure of Crimea from Ukraine, and

  2. POTUS isn't all freaked out about the Russian attack on American elections like those stupid liberals

 

The guy just doesn’t like rocking the boat when it comes to Russia. Or, come to think of it, Saudi Arabia, whose crown prince gets to murder American residents without so much as a harsh word from the Commander in Chief. I think we can all agree, the man is a peacemaker.

 

We’re not thinking that the cancelled meeting has anything to do with the meeting itself so much as the inevitable press conference that will follow. POTUS doesn’t want to answer obnoxious questions about his previously undisclosed Russian business deals or have to say of the Ukrainian navy situation that “Putin said he didn’t do it,” in front of everybody. Jim Acosta is there, for a god’s sake.

Local Sports

Over to The Downtowner, proprietor and facial hair enthusiast Chad Niland (yellow hat) hosted an epic beard contest. That’s right, both the beards and the contest were epic.

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